The lighter side of training

Some observations from the road and pool:

Cancer pissed me off…but made me more like the honey badger (Google: Honey Badger on Youtube.com when kids are not around)

Swim caps are easier to put on when you are bald.

Triathlon suits are good in theory…until you have to pee.

It’s wise to clip out before you get to an intersection.

A bikini wax and a long bike ride are not a good combination.

Dogs think that they own the bike path and don’t give a crap if they cut you off…squirrels too.

Cleavage is a great storage facility – great for holding keys and snacks.  My friend Amy just started using hers as a drink holder.  Who knew?

There is such a sport cream as Hoo Ha Ride Glide.   Guess where it goes.

Your workout buddies won’t mind a post-workout hug if you are sweaty and stinky too.

My forty-year-old bum looks better in bike shorts than bikini bottoms.  But thanks to working out, I’m not giving up the bikini just yet.

You can get to Zone 4 heart rate by jumping up and down and cheering for your team.

Chemo brain is not a good excuse for wearing your bike helmet backwards.

Your Oncologist doesn’t want to hear about your tattoo plans.

You know it was a good workout when you can't stop sweating....that, or a hot flash.

The bike short / sock tan combo is not cool.

It’s fun to pass boys on the course, especially when you are wearing a run skirt!

Your triathlon gear is likely taking over your car, your laundry room, and your entryway.

There should be a “Where the hell am I?” app…oh, wait, there is one…the blue dot on maps.

Race Sherpa.  Noun.  One that assists triathlete with her gear.  Bonus if he/she is cute.  See also Jock Strap.

People that have white oval stickers on the rear window of their vehicles are likely insane.  The higher the number in the oval, the more likely this is the case.