Santa Hustle

This is what I love about the holidays....

It was 14 degrees but he made me feel warm all under.

'Tis the Season

for fun holiday runs:

Today was one of those days.  A good day.  There was time to be reflective and grateful.  Time to be thoughtful and appreciative.  Time to be optimistic. When you've had the dreaded "cancer" diagnosis, you don't expect to ever feel normal again.  After a full year of surgeries (three), chemo treatments (six), herceptin treatments (twenty or so), weekly doctor appointments, countless blood tests, pokes and prods, I am starting to feel not quite normal, but better. 

I feel better because I know I did the right things.  I was aggressive in my treatment options choosing a double mastectomy and chemotherapy.  I was optimistic about likelihood of killing those darn cancer cells.  I was lucky.  I hope my lucky streak continues.  I will take additional precautions to ensure that risks of reoccurrence are minimized.  I will continue to appreciate each and every day, kiss my family, and tell them how much I love them.  I will continue to pray for me and others with cancer diagnoses.  

And I am thankful everyday.  Thankful for caring nurses and smart doctors.  Thankful for modern medicine.  Thankful for other cancer survivors that shared their stories and coached me through difficult choices.  Thankful for kind words and prayers from family and friends.  Grateful that I was able to stay active and keep up with exercise and family activities throughout my treatment.  

It's been a big year.  A crazy year.  I am ready to get back to normal.  

Bucket Lists

Does everyone have a bucket list but me?  Folks refer to having one...is it a mental list or a documented one?  Is one required by age 42 or do I have a few years to officially turn mine in?

The thing about a bucket list that makes me hesitate is that I know the second that I write down some life long goals, I will be completely obsessed with achieving them.  The everyday tasks will go by the wayside and big dreams will take over.  I will start researching in ridiculous detail every step necessary to make the thing happen.  Entry forms will be filled out and travel will be investigated and likely booked.  Calendars will fill up and a checklist will get made.  I like big goals but I like the status quo quite a lot right now too.  

This weekend with my family was ideal.  There was time for sleepovers and movies, decorating and buying furniture, sports and a family extravaganza at Dave & Busters.  It was awesome.  There was even a little time for a mental break for the parents ~ a spin class for me and a run for Bill.  I guess if the goal was to be spontaneous and enjoy your family, we got an A+.  

Perhaps my goals should be more general.  Be an awesome Mom.  Spend time outdoors.  Love and be loved.  Check, check, and check.  Okay, enough of that.  I need some specifics.  

Here goes: 
Olympic distance triathlon in 2013
Train like hell to run a 2 hour half marathon.
70.3 triathlon in 2014
A family 5K...all of us in the same event.  
Be a great teacher and mentor - teach with my heart and give my best to my class.
Volunteer ~ Girls On The Run and Team Phoenix are awesome organizations that appreciate my contributions.

Okay, I feel better.  I have a list.

Next Goal

What should my next fitness goal be?  Hmmmmm

Staying Strong

Despite chemo side effects like fatigue and numb fingertips, I remained dedicated to exercise during my eighteen weeks of chemotherapy treatments.  There were days when a short walk was all I could muster, but many days I was able to go to yoga or a spinning class or take a short run.  Exercise was very beneficial during this time to keep my muscles strong, clear my head, and stay optimistic.  Even if I was having a tough day, a little exercise usually always put me in a better mood.

My local YMCA had a spring training program during the month of March that I took part it – the Idle Ironman 2012 – where one completes the distance of an Ironman Race over the course of a month.  Although I am jealous of those that can complete an Ironman in a day, the month long distance goals of 2.4 mile swim (3852 meters), 112 mile bike, and 26.2 mile run seemed about the right size accomplishment.  To put the distances in perspective, I’d need to work out at least four days a week doing on average 1.64 miles of walking or running, 7 miles of biking, and 5 laps in the pool.  There was some flexibility where spin classes could count toward the biking goal (one class = 12 miles) and water aerobics could count toward the swimming goal (one class = 500 meters).  I showed up to the YMCA determined to fill in my tracking log sheet and meet the Ironman distance goals.  I varied the activities – one day I swam, next day I cycled, third day I ran.  As I got stronger, I tried a brick workout doing two activities on the same day.  One the final day of March, I had to cram in 1000 meters in the pool and a 12-mile bike ride.  I accomplished the Idle Ironman and earned a cool red Idle Ironman shirt.   Few at the gym knew that I was mid-way through chemo and I am pretty sure that I won the chemo category. 

I plan to use this training log again to continue the level of training that I accomplished this year.  Here is a blank form if you would like to try it.  Estimate and log your miles.  Have fun with it.  Do it again another month and before you know it, you’ll want to sign up for a real triathlon.  Happy training!

Race Day

The athletes on Team Phoenix have a lot in common.  We are strong, beautiful women.  We are cancer survivors.  We are now triathletes!  I am sure we all had a pretty terrific day today. 

We swam, biked, and ran our hearts out today and are proud to have accomplished this triathlon goal.   What I loved the most about the course was seeing all the support in purple and hearing the cheers for Team Phoenix.  Our coaches, doctors, volunteers, sponsors, and loved ones were there to see us shine. 

We so appreciate and are so blessed to have had the support and love of some terrific people.  Thank you to our families and significant others for giving us the time away to train and bond with our team.  Thank you Coach Kim and Coach Lauren for being our training gurus and pushing us in preparation to finish the race.  Thank you Sponsors, we truly appreciate your donations to make this all possible.  Thank you Leslie Waltke and PT crew for great recruiting and care for our aches and pains.  Thank you Megan for keeping us organized, informed, and on track.  Thank you Bike Patrol for keeping us safe on the road.  Thank you to the dedicated volunteers and Team Phoenix 2011 Team that attended practices, cheerleaded, and put your swim angel wings on.  Thank you Dr. Judy Tjoe, for your vision of bringing cancer survivors together to accomplish this feat, while gaining support and friendship from each other as we become stronger post-cancer.

What is inspiring about this group is that we know we are blessed to have taken this journey together.  We will continue to celebrate life and encourage others to do it with us.   The Danskin theme of “When is the last time you tried something for the first time?” is very powerful.  Today, we all did.  And we rocked it! 

I look forward to the next time I can wear my Team Phoenix jersey with my new friends!

Support Team Phoenix with a donation.

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Aurora Health Care Foundation is a 501(c)(3) charitable organization.

Start lines and finish lines

Life is a continuous series of starting lines and finish lines.  Start lines are exciting and terrifying; new job, new city, new relationship, new diagnosis, etc.  Finish lines can be exhilarating or scary as well. 

Team Phoenix is just days away from our triathlon race on August 26^th.  We are excited, apprehensive, hopeful and determined as we approach the starting line.  Each member of Team Phoenix has already accomplished a tremendous feat in fighting and surviving cancer.  We are one tough group of women! 

For me, cancer treatment was one tough $%#@* finish line to get toward.  Not a sprint, but a long nine-month process of surgeries, chemotherapy, and recovery.  Not a training regime I enjoyed but thankful that capable doctors and modern medicine were able to help me kick cancer’s butt.  Not a race that I wanted to start or finish, but perhaps I am a stronger, more patient, more gracious person because of it.

Now a triathlon race.  I’ve enjoyed this training journey, practiced hard with my team, and have mentally prepared for race day.  Our coaches, volunteers, and families are ready to cheer us on.  Team Phoenix, WE CAN DO THIS!  Looking forward to seeing you all at the finish line!

The lighter side of training

Some observations from the road and pool:

Cancer pissed me off…but made me more like the honey badger (Google: Honey Badger on Youtube.com when kids are not around)

Swim caps are easier to put on when you are bald.

Triathlon suits are good in theory…until you have to pee.

It’s wise to clip out before you get to an intersection.

A bikini wax and a long bike ride are not a good combination.

Dogs think that they own the bike path and don’t give a crap if they cut you off…squirrels too.

Cleavage is a great storage facility – great for holding keys and snacks.  My friend Amy just started using hers as a drink holder.  Who knew?

There is such a sport cream as Hoo Ha Ride Glide.   Guess where it goes.

Your workout buddies won’t mind a post-workout hug if you are sweaty and stinky too.

My forty-year-old bum looks better in bike shorts than bikini bottoms.  But thanks to working out, I’m not giving up the bikini just yet.

You can get to Zone 4 heart rate by jumping up and down and cheering for your team.

Chemo brain is not a good excuse for wearing your bike helmet backwards.

Your Oncologist doesn’t want to hear about your tattoo plans.

You know it was a good workout when you can't stop sweating....that, or a hot flash.

The bike short / sock tan combo is not cool.

It’s fun to pass boys on the course, especially when you are wearing a run skirt!

Your triathlon gear is likely taking over your car, your laundry room, and your entryway.

There should be a “Where the hell am I?” app…oh, wait, there is one…the blue dot on maps.

Race Sherpa.  Noun.  One that assists triathlete with her gear.  Bonus if he/she is cute.  See also Jock Strap.

People that have white oval stickers on the rear window of their vehicles are likely insane.  The higher the number in the oval, the more likely this is the case.

Two weeks until the TRI

Rock Star Sponsors

I have been hanging out with some rock stars lately.  Team Phoenix rocks!  These fabulous human beings are the athletes that are committed to becoming triathletes and the coaches, volunteers, doctors, and physical therapists that are supporting us.  The smiles, cheers, and tears of joy have been wonderful to experience with this team.  I can’t wait to see the emotions on race day!

I guess you can say that we are sponsored athletes.  We have coaches.  We have jerseys.  We have gear.  We get great snacks and nutritional guidance.  All of this would not be possible if it weren’t for our rock star sponsors. 

In no particular order I want to say a huge thank you to the incredible sponsors that donated to Team Phoenix this year:  

Individual donations to Aurora’s Pink Possible program and Team Phoenix

Trifaster Coaching       

InStep Physical Therapy & Running Center

Lands’ End

Wheel & Sprocket

Sportline

LOCK LACES™

US Foods

The Harry and Rose Samson Family Jewish Community Center

Marquette University

YMCA

Aurora Health Care

Anton's Salon & MSpa

The Chocolate Factory

Panera Bread

Roots Salon &Spa

Urban Trends SalonSpa

 Your donation was meaningful and deeply appreciated.  Thanks for believing in us!

week 6

Yoga

My kids now have an increased interest in my new sport of triathlon.  My son, in his random arsenal of questions, asked what the fourth event of a triathlon might be.  We reviewed the meaning of tri, a prefix meaning three, but the nine year old still probed for an answer.  “Well, that would be a Quadrathlon and I think it involves kayaking as the fourth event”, I replied.  “But Mom, what would YOU choose as the fourth event?” he had to know.  Archery, boxing or fencing were his top candidates, clearly influenced by the Olympic Games.  He was very unimpressed with my final answer, a non-Olympic Sport -  Yoga. 

I have a newfound love of Yoga.  It is a great complement to the swim, bike, and run training.  It forces me to stretch and quiet my thoughts, things that I rarely have time to do.  The phrase “Find your breath” used to confuse and somewhat frustrate me but I get it now.  I have found balance and confidence in a number of poses.  I appreciate the instructors that recommend that we “do what feels right” and “do what your body needs” instead of perfect alignment.   One of my biggest concerns with bilateral mastectomy surgery was that I would not be able to do plank and push-up like poses again.  I was absolutely thrilled when my strength returned to do Vinyasa (a series of poses) as strong and confidently as before surgery. 

So even though my son was underwhelmed, I think I have found my sports – swimming, biking, running, yoga.  Repeat as needed.

week 5

Mantras

There are the positive encouraging words I repeat in my head:  “You can do this”, “Almost there”, and “Awesome takes practice”.  These mantras helped me get through chemo, tough training, and day-to-day parenting.

If and when a negative thought enters my mind, I try to picture a big red stop sign and make it go away. 

There have been a ton of inspiring messages on Pinterest lately (you know the website where you pin pictures, recipes, articles, websites, etc.)  Some of my favorites include:

• ·      Strength doesn’t come from what you can do, it comes from overcoming the things you once thought you couldn’t.
• ·      Whether you think you can, or think you can’t, you’re right.
• ·      Every accomplishment starts with the decision to try.
• ·      It will hurt.  It will require time, dedication, willpower, sacrifice.  There will be temptation.  But, I promise you, when you reach your goal, it’s worth it!
• ·      What lies behind you and what lies in front of you, pales in comparison to what lies inside of you.

I decided to ignore my inner critic and am inspired to tackle new challenges this year.  The triathlon is just one finish line I can’t wait to cross.

Find something or someone who is inspires you and tackle that stressful situation, difficult diagnosis, new challenge, whatever it is, and tackle it.  You can do it!

week 4

Running

There are races (distances that you train for) and events (distances which you didn’t train much but still want the shirt).  I have found both “racing” and “eventing” to be very fun and worthwhile. 

“Why do you run?” and “Why would you run 5 / 10 / 26.2 miles at a time?”

I run for some pretty simple reasons: feel great, look good, stay fearless.

I feel great when I run.  I bounce out of bed and head out the door with a spring in my step.  I run when I am in a good mood and I run to get out of a bad mood.  Endorphins work for me.  Some days it’s tougher to get motivated, but if I can get one mile in, I usually can continue for a second or third mile.   A running buddy or good music can be good companions and make a run even better.

Running is a great cardio workout and burns a ton of calories.  I credit running for keeping me in the same size clothes for the last twenty years.  Running outfits have gotten cuter and I am a big fan of the run skirt.  How fun and sassy to run in a skirt?! 

Lastly, running has helped me stay fearless.  I sometimes feel like a kid running down the street.  I might stomp in puddles on a rainy day or jump straight into the lake during a heat wave.  I’ve weighed tough decisions during a run, making lists of pro’s and con’s in my head.  I’ve made hundreds of to do lists.  But mostly, I’ve stayed optimistic and convinced that the day is going to turn out okay AFTER my run.

I plan to keep running for decades and to rock the running skirt for many years to come.

week 3

New to Bike

I am a biking newbie.  I’ve trained on stationary bikes at the gym but my outdoor experience is limited to townie bikes with baskets. 

Since joining Team Phoenix, I have experienced many firsts with biking. 

One, I got a real road bike.  My new road bike is sleek and quick.  I had to learn how to change gears and where to grab the hand bars.  Thanks to Team Phoenix volunteer bike guru, we are learning how to change tires and care for our bikes. 

Two, I now have bike shoes that lock into the petals.  A strange feeling but a more efficient petal stroke.

Three, I tipped over when I forgot to unlock my shoes from my petals when stopping, a classic rookie mistake. 

Lastly, I discovered that I like to go fast.  It is exhilarating to get out on the bike paths or roads and discover new places. I feel like a real cyclist and I am really enjoying this new sport!

A quote I saw recently, “Life is like riding a bicycle.  In order to keep your balance, you must keep moving.”  Ride on!

week 2

Swim Practice

The first third of the triathlon is going to be tough.  I don’t love swimming.  I am not a strong swimmer and training for a half-mile swim is a little intimidating.  The first swim practice, I have a personal goal of 10 laps that I want to achieve.  “You can do this”, I tell myself.  I am a constant counter, so this is my rhythm in the water, “one, two, three, breathe, one, two, three, breathe”.  A nice cadence keeps me calm and focused on my breathing.  Things go smoothly for a length of the pool until I start to breathe more rapidly: “one, two, breathe, one, two, breathe”.  Two lengths down.  Is that really only 50 meters?  Urg, this is going to take some practice and determination.  I tell myself to calm down, take it slow, breathe deeply and get back to my planned cadence.  Somehow I get the character Dory from Nemo in my head “Just keep swimming, just keep swimming…”  The next lap goes well.  A little confidence builds.  My arms feel strong and the stretching across my chest and shoulder feels great.  I continue to go slow and steady.  I alternate between free style and breast stroke as I get fatigued. I know backstroke is an option that I can utilize to keep moving and finish my goal for the day.  It wasn't a beautiful first swim but not a bad start.  I pat myself on the back and plan to swim just as strong next practice. 

1st Post

2011 was a tough year to say the least.  I was challenged with many difficult decisions and situations during the year.  Saying goodbye to my beloved father after he battled ALS, leaving a corporate position, coordinating my family’s cross country move, and then settling into a new town had left me a bit frazzled. 

Then, in October 2011, within days of moving to Wisconsin, I felt a lump in my breast.  It wasn’t lost on me that October is breast cancer awareness month.  There is a history of breast cancer in my family so I started having mammograms at age 38 and I even had one in January 2011 that didn’t show anything abnormal.  I’ve attended walks and races over the years and planned corporate events to benefit breast cancer research.  Those pink ribbons seemed like they were everywhere I glanced – magazines, billboards, yogurt - as I made the appointments that I knew I should and waited to find out more.  I prayed that this was going to be an easy thing to check off my to do list. 

On October 26th the phone rang. I remember the exact spot in the kitchen where I was standing when I answered and heard the radiologist tell me that the biopsy was positive.  Holy crap.  I am a 41 year old with two amazing kids and an awesome husband. I am a strong girl.  I am in good shape.  I eat well.  I played soccer. I've run marathons (granted it was before kids and over a decade ago). I can handle this. Well, maybe not the entire overwhelming, multi-decision, brain racking, huge ball of news...but I can handle today.  I went for a run.  And then I had to make some decisions.

I was diagnosed with Stage 2 invasive ductal carcinoma, the most common type of breast cancer.  I've had two surgeries including a double mastectomy with reconstruction.  I’ve completed six rounds of chemo and fourteen infusions of Herceptin.  I stayed strong and optimistic and smiled more than I expected to.  Moms are tough…we have to be. 

I exercised as much as I could during treatment. Some days I ran, some days I went to spinning or did yoga, some days I walked at a snail’s pace down the street.  Exercise has always been great therapy for me both physically and mentally.  Luckily my medical team supported and encouraged my need to exercise.  I like having goals and something to work toward besides doctor’s appointments and infusion rooms.

A triathlon has always been something I have thought about but usually talked myself out of. Midway through treatment, I committed to train alongside other cancer survivors for my first triathlon this August.  It’s a big goal considering the year I’ve had but I know I can do it.  I am thrilled to have my appetite back, my hair growing, and can feel my body getting stronger.  Team Phoenix is an amazing group of Cancer Survivors and I can’t wait to cross the triathlon finish line with my teammates come August.  Cancer, take that!